Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Urban ghettos

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops