what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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