What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops