Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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