What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops