A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Tall asians

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops