A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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