Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Is maynaise an instrument?

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops