What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

A Fat Kenyan

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

kk

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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