why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Walnut

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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flavin's head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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