What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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You bumder!

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Shea's sty....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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