Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops