;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Cliterus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops