- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

Yo mama is so fat she died

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

Laugh

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f* are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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