Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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God

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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