Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

Dick Cheney That's the joke

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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