A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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