Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops