A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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