What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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