what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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