What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

Error 37.

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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