Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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