Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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