A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

Non-Anti-Joke.com!

I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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