What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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