A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Error 37.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops