- Anti Joke

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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