Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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