- Anti Joke

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

Everybody will die

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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