A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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My mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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