Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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