So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops