Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

This is an anti-joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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