Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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