Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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