how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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