What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops