Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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