-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Weaner

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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