Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Justin Bieber

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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