your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

Peas

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

why dont they make black forks

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

I have cancer. And you're next.

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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