- Anti Joke

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOL Passed Out Photos Roulette Reactions Search Engine Suggestions Shit Brix What The Face Check out our iPhone app! Twitter Rss Popular Newest Random Write Your Own! . Anti Joke logo . Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleSwitch to visual puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Wtface-com-857e5e What The Face Adfailure-com-48cdc7 Ad Failure Im_disappoint I AM DISAPPOINT A-day-at-the-mall-94246 Shit Brix Stallbangs-doesn-t-enjoy-hanging-out-with-barry-387fac Scumbag Steve 1222625996122_129 DIY Fail Quotes From Other Sites “Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot..” via: Clarksonisms “earphones for the deaf ?.” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Do you honestly think you're fucking funny, fucking with my friends? Seriously, you're a fucking ugly little cunt mate, and if I ever see you....” via: ethugtxt .. available on the app store! Anti-Pickup Line Clarksonisms Pointless Inventions Pointless Super Powers Things You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

Hello.

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops