A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Lil Wayne

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops