There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

I'm Coming

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...