Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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