An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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