SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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8

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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