What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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How old are you? 7

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops