why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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