Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Weaner

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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25

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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