What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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Pain Olympics.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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