What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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