There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

How do you scare a black man? You dont

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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