Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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